Most of us as men are
never taught how to talk to women. Because of this many guys go through life without the Ability to
attract a woman.
A lot of us with blame
our lack of dating success on looks, money, power, or popularity…. But the
truth is if you can learn to talk to a woman, flirt with her, and turn her… you
can attract women.
Now in order for you
to understand how to talk to women in a way that attracts them… you must first
understand what women find attractive.
To answer this we’ll
start in two steps.
Let’s understand:
What do you say that
turns women on?
And then…
What do you say that
turns women off?
With this approach it
will help us gain some understanding of the criteria that is most important.
What type of talk turns women off?
a.) To put it bluntly
women are turned off by men who across as “needy.” Most men don’t realize
that they are coming across “needy” when talking to a woman. But the
woman picks up on it quickly. She can very quickly tell that you’re trying
too hard to impress her. When a man tries to impress a woman it actually
has the opposite effect. It turns her off.
b.) Women are
not attracted to guys that come across as insecure. You can talk to women
and seem like a nervous wreck and expect her to feel attraction towards
you. A woman expects a man to powerful, confident, and secure with
himself. If she senses that you don’t possess those traits she will
quickly lose attraction towards you.
c.) Women are turned
off by guys who are “boring.” If you’re talking a woman you need to know
how to keep the conversation fun. If you continually find yourself facing
awkward silences, stuff in boring “interview mode” or talking about mundane
topics like the weather… you can be sure that the woman you’re talking to will
quickly lose interest.
d.) One of the major
factors that will kill a woman’s attraction toward you is displaying a lack of
social intelligence. Women are social creatures. And they blindly
follow the social “norms.” If a man doesn’t seem aware of what is
socially acceptable or “cool” she will quickly dismiss him as being “below”
her. An easy way to do display a lack of social intelligence while
talking to a woman is to make an inappropriate comment, not take the “cues” she
is sending you, or continually tell jokes that no one finds funny.
Understanding these
issues, you really can’t blame a woman for not wanting a weak, insecure,
socially clueless, boring, or needy man. Ask yourself… do you find
these sort of women attractive?
Now let’s talk about…
What type of talk turns women on?
a.) You have to
know how to talk to women in a way that brings out her fun, flirty, and playful
side. There is a song” Girls Just Want to Have Fun…” and the song is
correct. This is especially true if you’re talking to a woman in a
bar. She is there to have fun. You must be able to flirt with a
woman in a way that makes her feel like she is back on the playground with her
childhood crush.
b.) Women are
creatures of emotions. You must be able to talk to women in a way that
brings on an emotional state within her. You can do this by talking about
emotional topics like her passions, childhood, vacations, or any other conversation
topics that evoke emotion. It is also helpful to inject
emotional words into your conversation when describing something. Instead
of saying “it was fun.” Instead say, “my heart was racing with the rush
of adrenaline.”
c.) You need to
display that you are a socially intelligent man. Women are insanely
turned on by men they believe has power, status, and social approval. The
great part is that you don’t necessarily have to have any of these. You
just have to talk to a woman in the same that these sort of men would talk to
her. You have to talk to her from a place of power, status, and SLIGHT
superiority. Women are attracted to men they feel are slightly above them
on the social ladder.
d.) You have to talk
to her in a way that brings out her sexual side. The fact is, you can be
having the greatest conversation in the world about a topic like “health food”
but it will rarely lead to attraction. In order to talk to a woman in a
way that leads to sexual attraction you must not be scared to talk about things
on a more intimate level. This doesn’t mean you talk about sex… but it
does mean that you don’t shy away from
personal and intimate topics. These are the sort of topics that create
rapport and have women start feeling a connection towards you.
The next question is
how to talk to women in a way that gets women attracted to you?
Most guys don’t know how to carry a conversation with a woman, or talk to her
in a way that makes her feel attraction to you. Most guys just wind
up boring women.
I have coached enough
men to know that most of them will freeze up in front of a beautiful
woman. Or, they will become so nervous that they come across as insecure
and boring.
Women expect a man to
be able to LEAD a conversation in a fun, flirty, and sexy way. She wants
you to be able to make her laugh, smile, and feel safe and secure around you.
In brief, the key to
attracting a woman is to talk to her in a way that makes her feel so much fun
and enjoyment around you, while slowly letting the sexual tension build, and
then being dominant enough to go in for the kiss at the exact moment she is
waiting to be kissed.
Ok… so what kind of
things would a fun, flirtatious, playful, and sexy conversation contain?
15 Tips for Talking to Women in a Way that
Attract Them
1.) You should
talk about “emotional” topics like childhood memories, future ambitions, or her
passions. These conversation topics will open up her emotional
floodgates.
2.) Women want a
guy who is not afraid to lead her. While talking to a woman take control
of the conversation. Never wait for her to dictate what you’ll be talking
about.
3.) Pay
attention to the non verbal cues a woman is giving you. If you’re
standing too close to her, accidentally spitting when you talk, or making her
feel uncomfortable in any way… she will send you hints. Pay attention to
them.
4.) Remember
this motto “Fun not Funny.” Women are attracted to men who allow them to
have fun. Don’t concentrate on having the funniest jokes.
Concentrate on showing them the most excitement and enjoyment.
5.) Tease
women. One of the easiest ways to take a conversation to a fun and flirty
level is to begin to tease women. Think back to your time on the
playground. In the world of dating… what worked on the playground is
effective all over again.
6.) Get intimate
with her. Women are turned on by men who are not afraid to take a
conversation to a personal, intimate level.
7.) Use things
like “cold reads” to turn women on. Women love to hear opinions about
themselves. Tell her what you observe about her.
8.) Avoid
complimenting a woman too much. Women are turned off by men who come
across as “needy.” If you are complimenting a woman too much she will
think you’re trying to impress her. Which will have the opposite effect.
9.) If you want to
know how to talk to women in a way that doesn’t bore them… Avoid asking too
many “interview” style questions. Instead state your opinion about
things.
10.)
Remember: Statements over questions. Instead of saying “where did
you grow up?” Say “You don’t look like you grew up around here.”
This allows you to make observations about her and express your personality.
11.) Don’t hide
your identity. Don’t be afraid to talk about whatever you’re passionate
about.
12.) Never
compliment her on her eyes, looks, or body.
13.) Say
something that lets her know that you view her in a “sexual” way. If you
don’t you run the risk of winding up in the “friend zone.”
14.) Use
conversation “games” to keep the mood fun and flirtatious. Games can be anything
like “truth or dare” or to less extreme games like the “5 questions game”
15.) Don’t give
away your hand so fast. Women like men who are a challenge. If you
want to keep a woman’s interest she has to feel like she is slowly winning you
over. If she thinks you’re too easy… she’ll lose interest.
The best way to think
about how to talk to women is to think about what kind of fun, playful, and
sexual conversation you would most enjoy.
Talking to a woman is
not difficult. You just need to be aware of what they are turned on
by. And what turns them off. Follow the list above and you’ll do
just fine.
The one thing I want
to leave you with is: No matter how intimidated you are by the thought of
becoming a “smooth talker”… you really are a lot closer than you think.
Once you make a
handful of “tweaks” you’ll find that you actually enjoy talking to women- and
will begin to see how easy it is to create attraction. Isn’t it about
time you learn how to talk to women?
